Since youve been reading some of my poetry lately, Im sure you have gotten a glimpse into some of my sordid past. GET ON THE LIST NOW TO BE NOTIFIED OF ITS RELEASE! I hope you are able to reconnect with him! I want to rip up the pages of the past and rewrite them. Parenting can be very rewarding, but heartbreaking at times, too. As you say here, and Alice above, all we want to know as their mums is that we are needed! If you desire the relationship to change, then be the first to work toward reconnection. A book I read recently about one womans struggles with dementia has prompted me to write and share this. I want my son, I need my son, my whole body aches for him. Im sorry for that. Good luck to you and thanks for your comment. Learn more here: Learn everything you need to know about creating and selling a course from. My son recently told me he wants to join the army. In honor of the milestone, Im passing on five donts that will make your life journey a heck of a lot smoother. I may have gambled, done drugs, and a few other things you hate me for, but I did try to be a good mother to you, and for you, as well as a friend. FYI, hes now 31. Show him your comment. I have tried numerous forms of counseling, and you would be pleased to know that they all confirm that I have no choice but to give you space and get on with my own life. But when you sit down to write, a blank page tauntingly stares back at you. It is not even half a life without you. That I still felt needed was weird, and new, for me; I thought hedidntneed me anymore. Please help me to find some peace from the tormenting questions in my head." Do you know that you mean the world to me? I check out as many sites as I can regarding being estranged from my adult son (my only child). Remember how we avoided the pedophiles place? Deborah, Im SOOOO happy for you! You were always so active and wiggly. I was a single mom, too, so I can relate to your friend. In the case of estrangement, sometimes its best for both parties to say goodbye for a time, or permanently. Writing out what you are going through WILL HELP YOU HEAL. Im still here. . I don't really know. I had thought that you and I were close. Remember our little, plastic, red, first-aid kit? The word estrangement was never in my vocabulary before it happened to me seven years ago. The longest estrangement I have found is 4 years. , As a guy, do you do a lot of reading or writing? How long do you need? Ive been reading and writing ever since I can remember (like age four or five) and used to read in the dark when I was a child (in bed, after my siblings and I were told lights out) using the streetlight outside my bedroom window for illumination. So today, were lending a helping hand to all the mothers out there writing heartfelt letters to their sons who may need a little inspiration to get started. Now years later, your hard work, dedication, and commitment have paid off. Your boys will NEVER forget you. My sons mean the world to me in I lost due to my drug addition they have recently got a adopted in I am missing them SO much they are almost 3 and 4 my days are long in nights even longer I find myself crying daily they are the first thing on my mind when I go to bed in when I wake up I have A hard time being in public seeing other KIDS because it reminds me of mine I have no clue where they are cept the city in adopted parents first name I have so much guilt in shame in am hurting so much I dont no me anymore sence the boys have been removed I am so lost in so hurt I constantly think about what they are thinking my oldest asked the worked one day where I was she told him she didnt know she could of told him the truth that mommys verry sick in needs to get better or something like that Im scared they will for get about me in most of all Im scared Ill never get to see them how do I go on 28th my life with out the 2 of them when there part of me in my life in how do I except that I wont be part of there life or know anything about them in how do I write a good bye letter to my own kids any one have any answers or advice to help me get through this . Your mere presence in my life makes it beautiful. So dust yourself off and get back up. Dont want to be the MIL that I have. Subconsciously, I put my life on hold for you for 20 years, all of my early adulthood was yours and yours alone. Do you know how to reach your son? You were begging me for help. I taught you strength in silence when there seemed to be no other choice, to help you through a tricky rejection, but I never expected you to use it against me. Let me remind you, I still am. Being a bunch of things to a little baby, boy, teen, and now, adult is what I had to do; its what all single parents do. My son probably thought I abandoned him because he didnt hear from me. glad you decided to share it with us and that your son agreed to have it published. Ex did something that negatively impacted 38 year old son. A beautiful parting gift from a loving mother. Initiate Change. Dennis, congratulations on your new addition!!! My TRUE TALE for today is a bit unique, because itinvolves me writing a letter to my son, whom I re-connected with in 2013after being estranged from him for about three years. I know my son has read my letter and things are better since I sent it. That hurt a lot, especially since I spent a lot of time writing it, pouring my heart and soul into it. Im a new dad so I can feel the emotions in the letter. And I hope it never changes (unless it gets even better! wink wink, And yeah, Im grateful to J for letting me share this. I was only twice your age once. Elizabeth, I hate to say it, but the hurt never goes away. I have been estranged from my son, his wife and my first grandchild since July 3, 2017. Thanks, Arleen. So I did. Never could do drugs in college as an athlete we had drug test (we drank). My son rejected me for 3 years. I loved you from the moment I felt you inside my belly, flailing your tiny arms. My son does his own laundry. Too often, authors forget to identify their target market. Last, the way I've behaved is inexcusable. Its unusual for me to write letters, but this is a special circumstance. If you become uninteresting I will understand if there is no return reply. I promise you that. As heartbreaking as the letter is, we can only take comfort . I just want you, son, too. How old is your boy? with their grandchildren. Maybe through my writing, Ill live on. YAY! He is 21 now and at college in Lubbock. Your husband was arrested. I cannot believe I had a hand in creating you. Of course, I felt that way! Kari, I have a few things to say. Hi Lorraine, I couldve been more patient, yelled less, and focused on being a better cook and not getting home so late from work. This is one of my writing projects for 2014 now! Its a start and I am very happy that I wrote that letter. Your letter is beautiful and Im sure the book is a tear jerker. As you know I have two sons, 31 and 25. What I consistently find are Mothers of Adult Estranged Sons for 3 years, 1 year, less than a year. I wrote down the lyrics, and eventually put it to music. Hes left home and gone to university, so when he comes home with piles of washing its only natural for me to slot into my maternal role again. Think of the kind of mom your kids deserve to have and start acting that way. I know there are two sides to every story but every thing I said is factual, period. The money is not important, my sons love is all I want. Yet I am mindful that they need to live their lives, as they do and I had to learn to let them go!! My vision cruelly morphs the most unlikely strangers in to your shape. My son is 25 now and has come around slowly and I just continued to text and write him letters. I love it when mine does! . , hi lorraine; a very powerful letter you have written here. Please let me know if or when things improve!!! Moreover, I now realize I wasnt 100% right. Your house was in shambles the aftermath of another fight. Plus, its a great way to express your emotions. You were a big help, you know. In my case I lost my son when I divorced his father he was 17 at the time and took the divorce very hard. I was married to his dad for 27 years after the divorce at 17 years old he decide to live with his DAD even thou the court gave us both custody I have not seen my son since Nov 2017 . I know that growing up without a father figure was difficult, and Im sorry for that. Today, youre once again at a point where our support will taper off, and youll face the world without training wheels. Please do your own research before making any online purchases. Was I hurting and miserable all the time? Your work helps other people reach out for help, keep it real with themselves, and with others. You've brought joy to us in so many ways. Im happy that youre forging ahead with your passions and your friendships. I dont know how to get through the pain and hurt I feel. It may be difficult for you to believe, but there isnt a day that I dont think about you. It brings us closer in the real world even though we are all strangers. Have a heart-to-heart. Not every story has a happy ending, but fortunately, this one does. It took us a while to get to the point where he felt comfortable enough to speak those words again, but weve been there for a while now, and Im so happy about it. I argued with you as you grew. I wish I could offer you some comforting words, but I know nothing I say will fill your void. I did this many times, for many years. Before you were born, I had only completed 1 semester worth of classes. And now, as youve reached this first of many milestones, I am bursting with pride and admiration for the amazing young man you have become. All rights reserved. Sometimes, nothing says it better than a letter. You had a pixie-like presence, full of curiosity, wonder and joy. He is the tidiest and conscientious teen I have ever known! I feel your pain. I wish you the best with your child! This letter is long overdue. Youve done well, and I am so very proud of you. You have touched my heart with your heartfelt words, your unconditional love and care for your boy drips from every line and yes, you went through hard times and it wasnt easy by any means for you both but there is a clear message of redemption, forgiveness and healing here which is what I, as a reader, want to see. When I text him I never receive a reply. Adrienne, I was really happy that J. gave me permission to publish this. I also want to share my review ofI Will Never Forget,which Ive already posted to Goodreads and Amazon for readers to discover: I Will Never Forgetis Elaine Pereiras beautiful yet heart-wrenching tribute to her mother. He came to Thanksgiving at my parents house and I got to spend time with him. I promise you're not. We all know there are two sides to every story and Ive added both sides. and i agree with the rest of the group you should definitely start the book. guest posted on this blog on a Featured Friday, How Re-uniting With My Son Impacted My Life. thanks again and merry christmas to both of you, max, Thanks for your comments, Max; I appreciate your kind words. But your latest accomplishment makes me sit back in awe. The only thing I can do for now is pray that one day you can find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me and know I am only human.[7]. My Adult son (22 Years) just told me, why dont you just die and leave all your money to me and Mom, you useless peace of S*** A teenager? I thought about the part I wrote in the letter to him, about sewing, and how it made me feel needed.